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'Teacher, thank you so much for everything you've done for my son.'

* * *

I love my job like no one understands how.

'I mean I hate you.'

'I didn't think you'd be heartbroken about it.'

On his face was that wonderful look of guilt.

'I don't think you can even think.'

On mine, was the ugliest nonchalance I could manage.

'I should just apologize.'

That was him. Taking the easy way out.

'No, you shouldn't.'

That was me, brokenhearted.

'Then what should I do to fix things? To fix us?'

He was almost bored.

'I don't want us fixed. We should never have happened.'

'You don't mean that.'

'I mean I hate you.'

But I don't believe in constructive criticism.

People told me I'm a terrible critic. Frightening and absolutely mean. That I make many things look bad. Books, for instance. See here and here. And TV dramas. See here and here.

Thing is, people, I don't do critiques. I'm not even qualified to do any because I can be downright biased about many things just because I need to piss someone off. I'm selfish. Just like everyone else. And most of the things people refer to as my criticisms were not even close to one. I just happen to express my dislike towards things a little slightly too obtrusively, not sometimes. So it is often that I become the antagonist in so many people's eyes.

But honestly I tell myself insanely destructive things about my own works most of the times. That's why the written journey of Ig and Nina hasn't had any progress since a century ago and for that I profusely apologize! I haven't had any motivation to keep writing about these two people I really love, so as you can see for yourself, the blog is stuffed with virtual cobwebs you could virtually suffocate yourselves there anytime. It's the best place for the grossest way to virtually die. And I apologize to everyone who has been waiting for my chapter 6, truly from the deepest abyss of my heart and I promise to work faster so please don't give up on me!! And yeah, you know I should just go on with this post.

The thing about being opinionated, loud, offensive, and different, my dear readers, is that people tend to see you as someone lofty and imperious. Ask anyone. Ask yourselves.

I ask myself these several times when I read disturbingly negative, but grudgingly agreeable reviews on books I tremendously like; 'What is this feeling? Am I angry because there are many points that I grudgingly agree with, or am I hating the person who wrote this for realizing things I wish I had, earlier?' Most of the times I'd say 'Yes', also grudgingly, to the third the question. Then I'll start forming the image of an officious smart alec behind the reviewer's nickname in my head just for the heck of it, though most of the times, the image looks like me. Which doesn't fix anything, really.

Now, it's not a good feeling when you discover that dark side of yourself. That you can actually hate someone you don't know, for all the wrong reasons. OK fine, 'hate' is a strong word. I'll use 'despise' then. I still find that side of me scary. But at least I don't picture someone else when I'm at it.

I guess I'm sometimes annoyed at people for seeing more sense. But I'd like to believe that I am actually annoyed because I felt immature and stupid. Like you were having a wonderful dream and your mum just boomed through your bedroom door jerking you back to the fact that you were late for school. Or like you were taking a stroll in the park and you saw a hot guy running towards you and as he ran past you, instead of saying Hi! he gave you a slap on the face. Not pretty things to picture? I know. I'm weird like that. I bet some of you are weird like that, too.

So yeah, I'm no critic. And I'm very good at receiving constructive comments or views. On anything. As long as I detect no malice in between the lines. But I don't believe in constructive criticism.

My take on it? It doesn't exist.

Now what about you guys?

What kinds of misconceptions have people ever had about you?

Share with me.

Nani Othman, do you tweet? (LINK UPDATED)

Yes, I do. Sometimes.

Here.

Regret.

Annoying Stranger: Ekceli, I don't good in talking English well.

Nani: I can see that.


* * *

Yeah I know. I could have been nicer.

But you did notice the word that comes before the word 'Stranger', right?

So yeah.