Stalemate, for the moment.

Many of you are not going to get it, so I'll just keep the comments section closed for this one.

It's a work in progress. I think it's going to be big, since I'm working on it with Zarif and Azuan (though Azuan is practically still clueless about this) - my two trusted companions. I'm excited. Really am. And I'd never attempted anything like this before - it's based on a real life encounter with the most evil person anyone could have ever met. I mean, we'd done some really good ones before, and those had sent my psychological age several centuries up which could be good in some ways and terrible in some others. But this one is different. This isn't going to be something just anyone can relate to. This is going to be strangely familiar to some, completely frivolous to some more but just perfect for the right group of people. Heck I really don't know. This is as real as it's going to get. Part of me is still recovering from the storm. Other parts of me are plotting damage. Which is pretty much indicating a comeback stage. A huge-ass comeback stage.

The whole month I spent dealing with this inspirational (at last!) madness had definitely sent half of my maturity down the drain, half of my sanity down the same drain and almost all my intelligence down a specific drain - which was incredibly disastrous. I've had my share of trouble, pain and loss. I had discovered a side of me I had never known before. And I had learnt that the crazy part of me is still alive - the one that turns every rock into a diamond. I think I'm sane enough if I'm that crazy. Haha. I think I'm sane enough to be that crazy.

Told you no one's gonna get this. But I just wanted to write. My fingers were itching.

So yeah, it's sort of a stalemate for the moment.

Why only lesbians would love Seth Tan.

Right. I have never seen Nora Elena. But I've heard from many about how good it is. A girl gets raped, marries the rapist and lives happily ever after. Couldn't think of a better plot myself - being the future JK Rowling. Seriously.

Anyway, I also heard that the rapist turned husband is one of the most romantic male characters ever to grace the TV screen, so most girls I know went nuts at the slightest mention of Seth Tan. Which is something I don't get since he's a rapist. And he didn't get caught for raping. And he lives a great life, becomes successful and gets to marry the girl he couldn't stop himself from violating some years ago. Pretty much a life any rapist would rape for. Pft.

Now some of my married girl acquaintances too, were so much in love with this guy Seth Tan. They were like, 'Kan best kalau hubby I macam tu?' Which is something I can never digest - you want a rapist for husband when you're married to a nuclear engineer? Talk about being ungrateful. And insane. I thought I was crazy to 24/7ly spazz about Bradley James. No. Seriously. I really did.

And I was also told that I would never understand what this madness is all about since I'm not yet married. Fine. Maybe I don't get it. But it's definitely not because I'm not married. I mean, he's a rapist. He intentionally destroyed a life and nothing could change that. Not that I like Nora Elena or anything, but yeah, it was intentional. So, fine, I don't get it. But I know enough to not wish for my future husband (whoever you are) to be a rapist.

OK. 'Now what's with the post title?' some of you might ask. We're getting there now.  

LOOK AT THE PICTURE - CLOSELY!

Photo courtesy of Kak Imm.

Get me? Honestly this Ahmad Seth Tan whatever could be the most romantic knight in shining armor from the seventh heaven for all I care, but if he's actually a FEMALE then what's the point, really? Married females everywhere had been hoping for a female husband and Nora Elena spent years being traumatic because she was raped by a girl. Like, honestly, I really don't get where this drama came from. I really, really don't.

So I admit. I don't get it. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a woman, straight, and I'm destined to marry Bradley James. And I pity them married women who had been so ungrateful about being married to real men that they are wishing for a female sexual predator instead. Really.

Alright. I am bored. Thus the post. 

What's new on TV lately, people?

And how's everyone?

I wish

that you had paid attention to my favourite songs,

because the lyrics are the things I wanted to say to you, but am too scared to.

Yes. 

Memang teramatlah lousy menjadi seorang pengecut.

* * *

Ada sesiapa pernah brave enough pergi buat confession cinta kaseh

to anyone? Come on. 

Share.

Chapter: Random Dua

Sometimes I lie, when I have to save my skin. Sometimes. Sometimes I even use people for my own benefit. Sometimes. Sometimes I let other people take blames for things I do. Sometimes. Because I have days on which I have to be a coward. I'm not all courage. But after everything is said and done, I'd apologize. I'd sincerely apologize. Because if there's one thing I really fear is that death will come before I'm forgiven for the mistakes I did. I fear not being forgiven. It would be like a curse - not being forgiven.

*

Henry David Thoreau kata, 'If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man.'

Aku percaya manusia pada nature nya baik-baik belaka. Jujur-jujur belaka. Ikhlas-ikhlas belaka. Maka aku juga percaya manusia yang jahat dengan sengaja, tipu dengan sengaja - semuanya mati cepat. Ataupun nak mati tak lama lagi.

Jadi kamu-kamu yang berasa menjadi penipu itu cool, cepat-cepat take a deep breath, stop lying and start living.

*

Don't try to be someone you're not. Let people love you for you. You were born an original. Don't die a copy.