Riordan's Lost Hero MUST wait, for

THIS HAS FINALLY HIT MALAYSIAN BOOKSTORES!!!

Thanks Mr. Kok Sen Wai for the info. I almost died. Of excitement!

OH. MY. GOD. Please. I need someone to buy this for me. I can't go to any bookstore anytime soon, and I really, really need this or I'll kill someone! I'll kill someone!!

Adinda!

TULONG!!

'Why couldn't he fix his eyesight?'

There was once, when I was Potterphreaque (I still am, I just don't use the name so much anymore these days), I was asked, 'Nani, you gila Harry Potter kan? I'm just wondering; if Harry's so powerful of a wizard, why couldn't he fix his eyesight?' I blinked at her several times before giving her the answer.

The only one I could think of.

'He didn't learn how. That's why he couldn't,' I said.

I don't think there's a subject related to eyesight-fixing in Hogwarts. Remember when Malfoy blew up Hermoine's front teeth? She went to the hospital wing to get them fixed. And she was the genius of her batch, who happened to know so much.

Knowing more than Harry does, one would think that she could have gotten them fixed herself. But she couldn't. Because she wasn't taught how. If everyone who attends Hogwarts should be able to do everything - like what is expected of Harry - there shouldn't be a need for the hospital wing in the school, right?

Harry was interested in becoming an Auror. I bet they don't teach these Aurors-in-training how to fix their eyesight; like how the people who joined Police Force aren't taught how to diagnose and cure fever. It's not part of the course. Hehe.

And some days ago I googled the question. One of them Pottheads answered like I did. With less explanation, of course. But I get what she meant.

'Sama macam kitalah, ambik TESL takkanlah boleh reti buat brain transplant pulak tiba-tiba kan?' I added.


* * *


I thought the answer was obvious.

Well, what do you think?

'Nani, you mengajar di MRSM kan?'

'A-ah, why?'

'I dengar budak-budak MRSM ni semua terpilih. Pandai-pandai.'

'What do you want?'

'Apesal yang duk dapat 20A, 22A tu bukan budak-budak you? I mean, bukan budak-budak MRSM? Semua budak-budak Kementerian. Heran jugak I. Apa yang terpilihnya?'

Dalam hati Teacher Nani, statement-statement hangit telah dilancarkan ke otak for quality control sebelum dihantar ke mulut untuk dijadikan bom. Tapi Teacher Nani sabar. Teacher Nani sabar.

'Awak, ambik pun sepuluh subjek je dibenarkan, macam mana nak score A sampai 22 ketul?'

Dia diam sekejap.

I mean seriously, kalau dah sejak MRSM pertama ditubuhkan sampai hari ini masih tidak ada walaupun seorang budak MRSM dapat 25 ketul A padahal yang lepas masuk sini semua yang baik-baik + pandai-pandai, mestilah it has something to do with the number of subjects allowed. Possible je budak-budak ini nak dapat 40A pun kalau ada 40 subjek untuk SPM - sebab mereka memang mampu. Sistem kami membenarkan sepuluh subjek sahaja diambil. 10 itu pun belum tentu 40A-scorers tempat lain mampu lawan. So, sepuluh sajalah yang budak-budak ini perlu score.

Dan Teacher Nani memang nak sangat lepaskan bom. Sebiji pun cukuplah.

'Dulu awak UPSR ambik 5 subjek, tapi result keluar 7A eh?'

Haha. Ambik kau. Tapi bom kecik je pulak.

Hm.

Tak apa. Janji bom. XD

* * *

Dude, janganlah tanya soalan-soalan macam ni. Pedih betul la nak jawab. Pedih lagi you yang dapat jawapan I tu kan?

I know I said I wouldn't write magic anymore, but

I didn't promise. I really didn't.

*

"So he carved every single memory he had of her into the block of Silverinh ice because he knew that in the blood-red, everlasting winter of his painful longing, it would last. Now, look at it, if you will. See it, if you could. It was as if the autumn itself had lent his pain the colour. And you know, that even the least learned of people knows, that a colour the Autumn bestowed upon the breaking of any person of her choice, does not drain off just because his carving of the Silverinh ice melted into the waking of the Summer," she explained in between coughs. In her voice were years and years of her own painful longing and ice-cold anger.

In her eyes were ripples of a broken heart and a lost soul, and as she stole a look through mine, she showed me the Silverinh lady whom her great-grandfather carved from the memories of his lost beloved. "A hundred Summers came, Nani. The Autumn did not leave his body, his pain, his longing. And right now as it should, his heart beats in her. Listen to it."

*

But I had also given up the state of being captivated by the world of magic I tried to create because I don't want to lose sight of the one I already have; my family.

*

One of my students said jokingly to her friends, 'Sepet sey mata aku. I should get a plastic surgery.'

But one of them totally missed it and said, 'Beb, we're going green. Nobody does plastic anymore.'

*

I happen to be Asian, so I listen to Asian music. That shouldn't be a problem. Shouldn't be your problem.

Questions answered.

Here are the answers to the questions asked by my readers in the last post (Some of the questions were corrected where necessary). The comment section for the post is now closed.

From ButirStar: What will you do when you are happily taking a shower while shampooing, suddenly you smell fogging smoke???
Hola Kak Long. Haha. I will leave the bathroom and take another bath after the fogging team left. No use proceeding with the shower since your hair is going to smell terrible anyway.

From Mimi: Salam..Kak Nani, how to improve my English? Especially grammar. Do share your experience. You're my idol. TQ.
Salam, Mimi. I'm flattered - well I'd never thought I could be an idol. Not yet at least. Thanks. I don’t know how to answer this without scaring people away, most people who asked the very same question you did would slightly cringe at my answer. I hope you won't, haha. OK, my parents are book people. They go to bookstores when they could spare some time. They brought their kids along, too. So I was exposed to books, to the habit of reading since I was two years old. When I was three, I was already reading in English.

My experiences include an amount of 95% of reading story books, and 5% of English lessons at school. In that 5% you'll find insanely dedicated teachers, hundreds of grammar exercises a year since 1992 to 2002, shameless attempts at speaking in English with teachers and friends and lots, I mean LOTS of encounters with error-making and the ability to laugh at myself as I made them.

The 95% is your effort. Your teacher couldn't be with you 24/7, so you're gonna have to work on your own 95% of the time. Start small. Your language skills will grow before you even realize it.

From Saffa:
1) How do you see yourself 5 years from now?
I could be the Head of the Language Department. InsyaAllah.

Financially; oh I have always been financially strong, alhamdulillah. Hehe. 5 years from now I should be able to buy a house, cash. InsyaAllah.

Family; I could already be married with one kid. Or a pair of twins.

2) Have you ever thought of publishing your own book?
Yeah, I have. All the time since I was 14.

3) Do you correct people's grammar mistakes when you read their blogs?
In my head, yes. I'll do it in their comment boxes if they ask me to.

From Ayaq Masak: WHY MUST ALL QUESTIONS BE IN ENGLISH?
Because I'd love to respond to them in English. I need to respond to them in English. I don't wish for my already-minute linguistic skills to deteriorate. They might if I stopped using them for a while.


From Chameleon: Someone really hates you, get the chance to stab you and you die. With God's willing, you're still alive!! What would you do/say to that particular person when you meet them?
First you said I died. Then I was suddenly alive. I can't really understand your question, Chameleon. But say if someone really stabbed me and I survived the attack, I'd ask the person what his/her problem was – after he/she is put behind bars.

From Sanzo: Any interesting questions from your own students? Example; 'Teacher, can I become a God?' If so, how do you answer them?
I don't do extra miles in my explanation unless I was talking about something that I really, really like. So for questions like, 'Teacher, can I become a God?', I'd simply give them the truth: No, you can't.

From Faisal Admar: I wanna see your face! LOL
That's not a question! Hehe. Well, I'm mysterious. For now, I choose to stay that way.

From Jiyuu: I feel you, sista. And here I thought blockage only happened to the lame writers. (Not implying you're lame in any way. I meant it happens to the best of us.)


Situation: You're stranded in a thick forest with a river running through it with the person you love and you have only a single apple to eat. You have no idea how long you are going to be stuck there and there is nothing else edible or else lack the required skills to scavenge anything. Question: What would you do when the both of you get hungry?
We'd eat the apple for energy and he'll catch fish at the river and make fire and prepare dinner and make beds out of anything that could give me comfort, well practically everything. I'll climb the tallest tree I could find to make a call out for help and we'll wait for Jiyuu's private jet to come pick us up. We'll be out in less than 24 hours. No problem at all. Hehe.

From Farah Hanani: What is your weirdest dream?
Most of my dreams are weird. I like them weird. I even have favourites (yeah I'm strange like that). So far, the weirdest would be the one in which I was on a holiday at my one of my aunts', with my mother. On the day of the arrival, she took my mother to shop. So, I was left alone in the double-storey house. Now here's the weird part; she told me to make myself at home and be careful if I were to go up to the third floor – but there couldn't be a third floor in a double-storey house, kan? That's what I said. And she told me this, in the dream, 'Tangga ke tingkat tiga tu kadang-kadang ada, kadang-kadang tak jumpa. So be careful. You might never come down once you go up.' She looked sad although she was smiling when she said that. That was when I realized that there was no single trace of her kids and her husband around the house. It was as if she had always been living there all by herself.

Is that weird enough for you?

From Avid Gunner: As a writer, do you struggle with Mary Sue?
Hehe. As far as I am concerned, I do not struggle in my writing of the character Nina. I find her to be a person I could easily relate to, but not someone I wish to be. She's someone I wish to know; to be friends with. I try to make her a believable character, with flaws and strengths of her own, nothing inhuman. So far things are going great, I haven't yet felt as if I'm struggling to not lead Nina into becoming a Mary Sue.

Done!

* * *

Feels great. I guess the blockage's gone now. I might be able to come up with something independent after this. Thanks to everyone who helped! See you soon!

Ask me a question.

I'm lacking the motivation to write right now. There's a blockage in the system. The only thing I feel like writing about is school and I don't think that would mean much to many of my readers who happen to be non-teachers. I don't think it would reach far. There could only be so many posts about school in one blog.

So maybe I need some inspiration. Maybe I'm direly in need of inspiration or I would be stuck for another I don't know how many days. I need to keep writing, to keep my brain working the language or my teaching might go down the drain.

So, how am I going to do this? I'll let my readers ask me questions.

1) Now, you may ask as many questions as you want, ANYTHING about me that you wanna know. I'll be at my best level of honesty in my answers. The answers will come out in the next post, so stay tuned (if you wish to). I'll put your name with your question and link it to your blogger profile (if you have one), don't worry.

2) The questions may be long or short. Up to you. It can even be something like this: You woke up one morning and found a baby at your front door. The note attached to it was of your handwriting and it said, 'Feed her.' Then you realized that your nightgown and both your legs were bloodstained. What would you do?

3) But don't put too many questions in one comment – I might miss some.

4) ALL YOUR QUESTIONS MUST BE IN ENGLISH.


All clear?

OK. Now come at me, people.

Under 20? Don't read this. *UPDATED*

This happened yesterday. I won't call this person a friend. More like one of those unfortunate encounters in life. A little light; he's interested, I'm not. He talked of marriage, I evaded. Then it went into 'ketaatan seorang isteri' all of a sickening sudden, then I was pissed. So I cut off the conversation, and he began texting: 

Nani, I have tried everything and I really love oral. Jadi kalau I kawen dengan orang yang memang takmau buat, maksudnya I takkan rasa lagi dah for the rest of my life. Rugilah I macam tu. Sebab tu I nak kawen dengan orang yang betul-betul boleh dengar cakap I dan akan buat apa saja yang I suruh.

My reply: Ajaklah the person who gave you oral tu kawen. Dah jumpa pun orang yang sanggup, you cari apa lagi?

My intended reply: Engkau gila ke bodoh ke s*al? Nak mampus punya offensive statement jahanam engkau; engkau hendak cari isteri yang taat sebab engkau won't take No for your oral sex request? Lahanat mana yang bagi engkau lulus kursus kawen hari tu memang patut ditarik balik lesen pengiktiraf dia. Engkau sakit jiwa yang amat sangat dah ke, sampai kena bincang benda private macam itu dengan orang yang bukan family engkau? Some people memang tak hadir kot pada hari Tuhan mengurniakan otak kepada manusia, kan?


Haha, tu cerita lama la. Dia pun dah kawen. Dah nak ada anak dah pun.

My reply: None.

My intended reply: Grossgusting gila perempuan terbabit!


Kalau I nak jugak macam mana?

My reply: Sebelum kawen letaklah syarat bertulis siap-siap. Cari orang yang memang suka buat kerja tu, then kawen je lah.

My intended reply: Jawapan di atas, plus this - Tapi kalau engkau rasa jawapan aku itu considerable, engkau memang bodoh tahap kuasa tiada tandingan. Kalau bodoh engkau tu sebuah karangan, bukan tahap setakat terkeluar tajuk je, terkeluar dari kertas jawapan terus ke lubang tandas, layak gagal sama sekali.


Kalau I pilih you jugak?

My reply: I takmau menzalimi diri. For you mungkin benda ni kecik, tapi I takmau. I don't take risks.

My intended reply: Ya. Tanpa was-was dan tidak syak lagi, bodoh engkau memang tak tertanding. Gila engkau dah tak boleh dirawat – in the first place, apa jampi serapah mak nenek engkau yang buat engkau sanggup terfikir aku akan peduli apa-apa pun kehendak engkau?


Alaa, tapi I nak you jugak. Tak boleh ke?

My reply: I takmau suami yang suka suruh I buat benda yang I takmau.

My intended reply: Pergi matilah!!!


Tapi I tak fahamlah kenapa you taknak. Bukan bahaya pun. Ramai je orang buat. Sihat je. Doktor-doktor pun takde kate jangan buat.

My reply, fully intended: God made d*cks to fit in v*ginas, sperms should go into wombs, why the h*ll would I wanna let something that should go down below into my mouth? I don't wanna say this but since you somehow jadi bodoh tiba-tiba, I'll explainlah –

Ustazah I kata dulu, zalim itu meletakkan sesuatu bukan pada tempat yang sepatutnya, benda basic macam tu, graduate macam you mesti tau kan? Apa benda dalam neraka yang actually made you think that I would consider a d*ck that had gone into some b*tch's mouth to be placed *ew* in mine? Sakit gila jiwa engkau!

No reply, sampai hari ini.

Then, an equally sick acquaintance of mine who happens to be 3 years older and should have been so many times smarter came up with this, 'Tapi kalau suka sama suka pulak lain cerita, itu kira meletakkan sesuatu pada tempat yang setepatnyalah kan?'

Apa pasal engkau semua suka sangat miss the point ni!? Gila annoying lah existence engkau semua!

So kalau Ali kata, 'Abu, engkau tikamlah aku, aku halalkan,' dan Abu pun melakukan aktiviti menikam,  maka pisau itu dikira terletak pada tempat selayaknya kah - menembusi jantung Ali?

Apa pasal aku kena bagi contoh psiko jiwa hati rawan gering segala sel-sel otak macam ini dekat graduate-graduate macam engkau semua? Apa otak engkau semua sudah penuh sangat dengan ilmu degree empat tahun sampai tak boleh berfikir benda kecik serupa ini? Tolonglah!

Number engkau dan engkau aku dah delete. Antibodi aku tak larat lawan virus jiwa tenat engkau semua. Aku report polis kalau engkau dan engkau buat hal lagi.

Engkau semua pun tahu kan, aku ini memang suka buat laporan?

* * *

UPDATE: I had a talk with two ustazahs at school, confirmed that my hukum zalim based response wasn't exactly applicable to the matter of the discussion, but what I did could be accepted in that situation where such a person is involved (explanation panjang, I tak larat nak karang). Might have triggered one or two thinking neurons in his brain to work.