Apa salah babi?

The first thing about my father is his being the luckiest man in the world because his eldest daughter is yours truly. And the second thing about my father is the fact that he used to smoke. Yeah I did write terrible things about smoking and smokers. And I was thinking about my father half the writing time.

I hate smokers. I do. I say insanely hideous things right to their faces. 'Pakcik, why on earth are you killing yourself? Do you hate God for creating you from earth because you wish to be made from fire? Is that why you're smoking?' Yeah I wish I could say that. But most of the times I just politely say, 'Pakcik, jangan merokok dah tau. Sakit pun dapat, duit pun habis, dosa pun banyak. Kesian famili pakcik. Nanti pakcik mati, siapa nak jaga anak-anak pakcik, kan? Kalau mati serentak satu famili, alhamdulillah, boleh jumpa balik dalam kubur. Tapi, kalau mati dulu, kena libas sorang-sorang. Tak ada teman nak melolong sama-sama.'

So yeah, hate me. These murderers are desperately begging to be spoken to like that, or worse.

Are you one? Don't tell me. I don't wanna hate you.

I can only express my humble gratitude to Allah SWT for saving my father's life. He's up and walking, thank you God. And he hasn't been smoking since he left the ward. For that too, Alhamdulillah sangat-sangat. And you guys, who had been so nice in your comments and wishes and prayers, God bless you.

So let's talk stupidity and double-standard, today. Alright?

I don't get smokers. No I don't. I don't get why they wanna kill themselves. I don't get why they're spending money on something that vanishes into thin air after crapping in their lungs. I don't get why they wanna kill their whole family and everyone else, slowly. The sadism. The insanity. No I don't get them. And I don't get the hypocrisy. THE DOUBLE-STANDARD, people. It just baffles me.

Which hypocrisy exactly am I talking about here?

This one.

Man A : This is London, dude. Don't waste time looking for HALAL logos. We have all the reasons in the world to eat bacon and pork!

Man B : Seriously, mate. You're sick. Babi tu haram, bawak mengucaplah, kawan. Jangan macam ni.

And Man B says that in utter sympathy for his sesat friend - Man A - as he breathes out several puffs of Dunhill.

I mean seriously, people. Babi is haram. Rokok pun haram. And both men are Muslims. But suddenly one can smoke and the other is OK with it, while the other wants to eat pork but the smoker suddenly speaks of haram?

Apa salah babi? Why the double-standard? Dua-dua benda pun haram kan? Jadi kenapa satu dibolehkan (tanpa sebab), satu lagi tak boleh? Babi ada buat dosa apa dengan engkau? Rokok ada bagi apa pada engkau?

Answer me if you want to.

But this is what I believe.

Alang-alang engkau dah suka sangat makan asap haram dan menjahanamkan hidup sendiri, baik engkau makan pork terus. Siap dimasak, boleh makan dengan roti buat sandwich, dan confirm mengenyangkan. Plus, tak ada nikotin masuk buat neraka dalam paru-paru dan jantung engkau. Gigi engkau pun tak bertukar warna serupa dicat dengan najis. Badan engkau pun tak berbau macam manusia malang yang rumahnya terbakar tetapi lupa nak telefon bomba. Dan muka engkau pun tak nampak macam makhluk ngeri yang hampir mati sebentar lagi.

Both are haram. But why choose to damage your body when you can do meat and be merry?

Smokers tak pandai guna otak. They're not good at making choices. At making decisions. And they still won't stop smoking even after realizing that.

A friend said this to me:
Nani, I rasa you terlalu extreme dalam berbahasa, dalam memberi pendapat. Manusia ada sebab sendiri untuk bertindak sebagaimana yang mereka rasa patut. Kalau semua benda mesti diukur dengan agama, kita takkan ada individualiti. Setiap manusia berbeza. Dan bukan semua benda perlu dilihat dari sudut agama. Sometimes, we have to look at it dari pandangan humanity dan acceptance. Kita semua manusia. Tak sempurna.

Dan aku rasa engkau gila, friend. Sorry. Aku memang rasa engkau gila.

Sebab setiap saat hidup kita ada timbangan dosa pahala. Tak ada waktu yang sesuai untuk kita melihat sesuatu perbuatan dengan berlandaskan perkara lain selain Islam. Kata engkau Islam is THE way of life, kan? So why do you go the other way when it comes to smoking? Tolong explain, boleh? Kalau engkau mampulah.

Take your time. I'll wait.

* * *

So hey there, people and wonderful readers!

How are you guys doing?

Pukul 2 pagi tadi

Maak telefon.

'Hello, Maak,' Aku jawab.

'Nani, tadi Ustaz Manzur telefon. Dia pi kem dengan Ayah bawak budak-budak.'

'Ustaz kata apa?'

'Ayah masuk hospital. Serangan jantung.'

* * *

Masa tu Aku ingat Aku akan rasa macam apa yang Aku selalu baca dalam buku. Masa macam terhenti, jantung tak berdegup tiba-tiba, air mata tumpah tanpa sedar, dunia busy body gila nak berkecai dan whatever jadah shit corny nak mampus punya pengalaman. Rupanya tak. Kantoi kot penulis-penulis buku ni semua tak pernah ada ayah yang masuk ward sebab serangan jantung. Tipu gila apa yang mereka tulis.

Sebab apa yang Aku rasa itu satu benda baru. Perasaan yang engkau, engkau, engkau mahupun ENGKAU tak mampu namakan. Engkau boleh bayangkan ada gunung atas dada engkau? Engkau cuba darabkan beban itu dengan seberapa banyak nombor yang engkau tahu. Sampai hancur kalkulator imaginasi engkau lagi bagus. Itu pun baru sezarah dari apa yang Aku rasa masa itu. Sezarah.

Dahsyat, bukan?

Kamu semua, Aku minta tolong doakan Ayah. Itu saja.

Nanti bila Aku dah mula waras, Aku update. Until then, you guys take care.

Salam.

I pinky promise

to update my blog after Minggu Aktiviti! I know, I know, I know how TERRIBLE my blog looks, with nothing but old posts and just that. So yeah, after Minggu Aktiviti, OK? And I promise to reply to every comment from everyone! I'm just insanely busy these days, so, you guys be good, alright? Later!

Someone actually made it public that I inspire him. OMG.

Now why don't you guys check his Youtube channel out?

I meant the above note for people who do not know of this cool friend of mine yet. 

Before you die of shame, go.

Haha.

I'll see you guys around later.

And ah, yeah. That's me; smiling at his answer.

What?

I'm normal!

Britney, outgrown.

People do sometimes ask if I had ever listened to any song sung in English, since most songs I have downloaded are either Japanese or Korean. The reason? I'm Asian. So I pretty much listen to Asian music. I really have nothing against American singers, unlike what many people think (I just think Justin Bieber sucks). But I might have lost the connection to their music. That's all.

I used to listen to lots of English, back then when I was in school, when even Britney Spears' songs had some substance in them (now it's just sex and sex, so I got bored). I listened to tons of Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync, too. And a bit of Westlife. Just a bit. I can't stand musical marshmallows melting in my ears (that's what I think their songs sound like – sweet but too gooey for my liking). I could sing a song or two – or more, without tripping over the lyrics. Sometimes I even sang with my classmates. Those were pretty times.

I guess I grew out of American Pop music. I've outgrown Britney and her used to be snappy dance steps (I was not very much interested in her singing, most of the times she was just nasal, and I'm no fan of nasal) and 'N Sync's beats. Now I listen to W-inds (been a fan of these guys since I was 17), BoA and SHINee though I don't really get what they say even at the best of times. But their music speaks to me. And every song is a language of its own, no? It reaches different people differently; beautifully. So yeah. I don't listen to much English these days. But I believe I still listen to good music.

As far as I can honestly remember my school years, most of my girl friends wanted to be just like Britney. Back then in their eyes, she had everything. She had money, she had fame, a pretty face, a sellable nasal voice and a wonderfully sculpted tummy most of them wished they too had, so they could wear tight, low-cut jeans to freaking Kangar. But we can't stop how people wanna grow up, can we? So now Britney still shows her wonderful tummy (and lots more, you know she does) my guy friends used to drool over; she just doesn't sing innocence anymore. She grew up.

Today when I look at how much I had grown up since those days, I couldn't exactly believe where I am. I used to think my teachers were really cool people, like really cool people. Now that I'm doing what some of them are still doing, their coolness literally rocked my world. Like, literally. They had done SO CRAZY MUCH it's not even funny. I don't know if any of my kids see me the way I used to see my teachers, but I'm not gonna be surprised if they don't. This is, my friends, a crazy hard job to do. And to be likeable while doing it might even be harder. 

I grew up, too. I realize that. I used to care about what people might think of me, as if they mattered. I used to wonder if there will ever be one day when I can please everyone. I once even thought money can't buy happiness. And I can't remember ever giving much thought about what I wanted to do after I leave school. TESL just happened because I love English. And teaching happened because I have always loved school. For a path that easy, I have only God to thank.

So here I am. Now. Thank you, Allah;

Britney Spears outgrown, and learning how to make my kids better English speakers and writers. And I'm struggling insanely hard. But this is what I love to do. So struggling or worse, I'll make it through smiling. One day, it will all pay off. I know it will.

Right.

What have you guys outgrown as you grow up? 

Do share.

To ALL readers.

I just need to ask this:

How many of you actually come back to NaniScribbles! after you dropped a comment to read my reply?

Because I reply to EVERY comment. I hope no one feels like, 'Eleh, dia ni tak baca pun komen aku. Nak balas lagilah.'

I repeat, I reply to EVERY comment!

Now answer me. 

If you always come back to read my replies, say, 

'I!' or 'Saya!' or 'Aku!' in the comment box!

Majlis kawin Teacher Nani. Kot.

Nani, bila nak majlis?

Majlis apa?

Kawin.

Engkau ingat semua orang kawin hari yang samakah? Just because engkau kawin semasa umur engkau sebaya aku seabad lalu, maka aku pun kena kawin sekarang? Lagi satu aku tak faham kenapa orang-orang macam ni mesti tanya soalan yang sama berkali-kali. Aku kawin bila pun ada kaitan dengan engkaukah? Aku bukan nak ajak engkau datang kenduri aku pun sebab engkau tu annoying. Dan aku pun bukan nak suruh engkau tolong design hantaran, tengok your sense of creativity pun aku nak muntah dah. Aku jugak tak ingat pernah cakap nak pinjam duit engkau buat kawin, jadi aku memang tak faham apa pasal engkau sibuk sangat. Dan biasanya benda yang aku tak faham buat aku meluat. Aku harap engkau jangan drag benda ni sampai aku jadi benci. 

* * *

Orang lain jodoh cepat sebab mereka tak memilih.

Eh, psiko. Kawin ni bukan main ikut orang. Aku taktaulah engkau kawin dulu sebab desperate tengok orang kawin dapat peluk laki ke apa, tapi aku bukan macam engkau. Pft. Memang teman hidup kena pilih pun. Kalau engkau rasa cara hidup aku tak betul, itu bukan masalah aku. Aku pun rasa cara hidup engkau tak betul. Tapi tak ada pulak aku spend masa tanya pasal bila anak engkau yang tak berapa nak ada moral tu nak insaf biar sepadan dengan pandangan orang terhadap engkau. Ya lah, engkau mengajar anak orang adab pekerti segala kan? Anak engkau?

* * *

Nani, sepasang manusia yang berkahwin tak semestinya setanding semua segi. Masing-masing ada kekurangan. Kena saling tolerate.

HELLO, ustaz aku ajar istilah sekufu masa aku form 5. Guna otak sebelum bercakaplah lain kali. And oh, please. Tolerate? Bukan engkau dah kawin lama ke? Jadi selama ni engkau tolerate kekurangan laki engkau? LOL. I have news for you, friend. Marriage isn't about tolerating. It's about accepting. It's about loving all of his imperfections because no matter how bad others might see him, he completes you. Kesian laki engkau. Dapat isteri yang tolerate kekurangan dia, sedangkan engkau sepatutnya menerima. Engkau sedar tak yang engkau sendiri pun tak pass lagi bercinta? Nasihat engkau yang loser habis tu tak relevan dengan topik. Loya aku dengar.

* * *

Aku rasa orang yang suka tanya hal kawin orang lain ni kurang sensitiviti, annoying, malas buat kerja hakiki (lesson plan, bahan mengajar etc.), tak bahagia dengan marriage sendiri (sebab tu mereka sibuk nak tahu pasal orang lain, kot-kot aku pun miserable macam mereka juga), rasa diri sendiri bagus tapi mempunyai lifestyle yang membosankan. That's why you never hear these people talk about their lives. They practically have nothing good to share.

* * *

Aku suka gambar untuk entry kali ini. 

Kamu suka?