Nani, bila nak majlis?
Majlis apa?
Kawin.
Engkau ingat semua orang kawin hari yang samakah? Just because engkau kawin semasa umur engkau sebaya aku seabad lalu, maka aku pun kena kawin sekarang? Lagi satu aku tak faham kenapa orang-orang macam ni mesti tanya soalan yang sama berkali-kali. Aku kawin bila pun ada kaitan dengan engkaukah? Aku bukan nak ajak engkau datang kenduri aku pun sebab engkau tu annoying. Dan aku pun bukan nak suruh engkau tolong design hantaran, tengok your sense of creativity pun aku nak muntah dah. Aku jugak tak ingat pernah cakap nak pinjam duit engkau buat kawin, jadi aku memang tak faham apa pasal engkau sibuk sangat. Dan biasanya benda yang aku tak faham buat aku meluat. Aku harap engkau jangan drag benda ni sampai aku jadi benci.
* * *
Orang lain jodoh cepat sebab mereka tak memilih.
Eh, psiko. Kawin ni bukan main ikut orang. Aku taktaulah engkau kawin dulu sebab desperate tengok orang kawin dapat peluk laki ke apa, tapi aku bukan macam engkau. Pft. Memang teman hidup kena pilih pun. Kalau engkau rasa cara hidup aku tak betul, itu bukan masalah aku. Aku pun rasa cara hidup engkau tak betul. Tapi tak ada pulak aku spend masa tanya pasal bila anak engkau yang tak berapa nak ada moral tu nak insaf biar sepadan dengan pandangan orang terhadap engkau. Ya lah, engkau mengajar anak orang adab pekerti segala kan? Anak engkau?
* * *
Nani, sepasang manusia yang berkahwin tak semestinya setanding semua segi. Masing-masing ada kekurangan. Kena saling tolerate.
HELLO, ustaz aku ajar istilah sekufu masa aku form 5. Guna otak sebelum bercakaplah lain kali. And oh, please. Tolerate? Bukan engkau dah kawin lama ke? Jadi selama ni engkau tolerate kekurangan laki engkau? LOL. I have news for you, friend. Marriage isn't about tolerating. It's about accepting. It's about loving all of his imperfections because no matter how bad others might see him, he completes you. Kesian laki engkau. Dapat isteri yang tolerate kekurangan dia, sedangkan engkau sepatutnya menerima. Engkau sedar tak yang engkau sendiri pun tak pass lagi bercinta? Nasihat engkau yang loser habis tu tak relevan dengan topik. Loya aku dengar.
* * *
Aku rasa orang yang suka tanya hal kawin orang lain ni kurang sensitiviti, annoying, malas buat kerja hakiki (lesson plan, bahan mengajar etc.), tak bahagia dengan marriage sendiri (sebab tu mereka sibuk nak tahu pasal orang lain, kot-kot aku pun miserable macam mereka juga), rasa diri sendiri bagus tapi mempunyai lifestyle yang membosankan. That's why you never hear these people talk about their lives. They practically have nothing good to share.
* * *
Aku suka gambar untuk entry kali ini.
Kamu suka?
35 scribbleback (s):
saya suka jugak.. ^-^
feel the heat! hoho
as always, awesome points to smack anybody down for the count.. and maybe into a coma terus.. haha
love is acceptance, not tolerance. I love that. :D
anak pak man - it's true pun. tolerating is like pretending you're ok about things you're not. and that has no place in a happy marriage. it's acceptance. it has to be.
I hate it when people ask about the time I'll be getting married. Shit!
oh oh. hai kak nani ^^
i do believe that the society (or any particular person) who kept on asking me "bila mau kawin/apa2 yg sewaktu dgnnya" everytime him/her/they met me is because they don't actually know what to talk about. so they tend to go 'to that way' since I am 'at that age' (well, i don't know who came up with the idea of "you'are at the marriage age!!").
apa2 lah. jangan layan orang sakit otak. nanti kita pon boleh kena wabak mereka.
bahaya oh.
Shimatta!
I feel the same sis.
Orang kata aku anak dara tak laku sebab aku gagal dalam percintaan lagi. People brag aku ni andartu and so on.
Pfft!
Go die please to all those fellas.
Orang yang bertanya pada Nani adalah orang yang tidak ada kerja lain. Sibuk hal orang, biar la nak kawin ke tak. Yang pasti Nani akan kawin tak lama lagi ^_^
belum pernah lg ada manusia yang tanya bila fina nak kawin. yg terus tuduh dikman tu suami ada la, haha.
mereka ni nampaknya tiada pekerjaan benar. patutla malaysia banyak penganggur.
Jika begitu banyak la kerja kosong. Jawatan banyak kosong ialah Pehawin
(penyibuk hal org belum kawin)^_^ part time dan full time
Nice pic..!
Nak buat baju macam itu kah sis?
HOho..
Pernah dengar pasal org yg selalu notice kekurangan org lain??
The major problem is they didnt realize their own!
Pathetic~
I dont see any problem to be not married even when we reach 30.
Kalau kahwin..dapat anak tp tak reti jaga.. Baik tak payah..
(0_O)
Humans are an essentially lonely species. We're social creatures. We thrive on the attention of others. People who need to be married in order to feel love are incapable of forming wholesome relationships with friends and family thus need to tie down a man with marriage in order to achieve a semblance of happiness.
nani...mcm akak gak dulu2...depa kata akak tak laku sbb kawen lambt...akak jawab balik, akak kata awak tu kawen muda tu dh gatal sgtlah tu..kui3x..anyway u're still young and happy with your life right now...
ache - whoa. lots of anger there. i pun kena sambar ni. haha.
azeem - they're boring people, whose brains revolve around petty matters like bila you nak kawen. losers. and yeah. it brings you nowhere listening to these people.
zara - shimatta! haha. XD gagal dalam pecintaan = anak dara tak laku? habis i yang hati first hand ni macam mana? godaiplis!
luke - mereka ada je kerja. tapi taknak buat. sibuk buat benda yang tak ada dalam skop kerja (contoh: tanya pasal hal peribadi orang.).
adinda - haha. kak nani pun penah kena tuduh jadi bini dikman. takleh blah. XD mereka ni ada pekerjaan. tapi mereka tak berapa nak buat.
luke - jawatan tu penuh diisi dah. takde kosongnye.
farahanani - ngahaha. menulis i berani lah laser2. pakai baju macam tu i tak cukup daring lagi. lol. ah yes. people yang selalu tegur kekurangan orang ni biasanya perasan perfect. tah pape. thing is, belum kawen tu bukan satu kekurangan. it's just a status. pft. same here, i dont see what the heck the problem is, too. kalau kawen tak reti jaga anak plus derhaka suami, baik tak payah.
jiyuu - like like like like like your comment! haha. you said what i wanted to in a shorter and more pedas. i hope someone gets butthurt from it!
ibu - hai kak ibu (yeah, that came out pretty bad)..ngahaha. im happy with my life right now. i really am. and happiness is defined differently by different people. if i am to get married, i'd want a guy who could spend hours with me in a bookstore. XD
Orang sebegitu memang takkan pernah puas. Walaupun jika kita dah berkahwin, mereka tetap akan mencipta soalan baru; "Bila mau dapat anak?"
Walaupun dah dapat anak, mereka akan cipta lagi soalan baru; "Anak engkau kerja apa?", "Bila anak engkau mahu kahwin?", "Dah dapat cucu ke belum?"
Bila kita dah lengkap semua sekali, mereka tetap juga takkan puas hati. Andainya mereka mampu hidup semula di dunia (jika mereka mati dahulu), pastinya mereka akan tanya lagi; "Engkau ni bila nak mati?"
Lumrah.. Tetapi lumrah yang menjengkelkan..
iblis - haha. mungkin kita patut tanya soalan 'engkau ni bila nak mati?' bila mereka tanya pada kita bila nak kawen. lumrah. betul tu. lumrah yang menjengkelkan. itu lagi betul.
Yes, that's it. Kita harus tanya mereka balik dengan soalan tersebut - kasi kena batang hidung mereka sendiri.
Rasional:
Jika ajal itu adalah ketentuan Tuhan, maka bukankah jodoh juga sama? Bertanya 'bila nak kahwin' itu sama saja kategorinya dengan tanya 'bila mau mati' (mempersoalkan ketentuan).
Jadi buat apa lah mereka nak tanya kita soalan tu? Pergilah tanya Tuhan.
:)
ak punya opinion...
1)org slalu tny sbb kahwin itu sunnah.
2)org tkt kita nie ader perasaan songsang.
bagi ak, hal kahwin nie, dh tertulis pun kan yg jodoh, ajal dan rezeki dh ditetapkan dh pun...
so, no need to rush...most important of all, prepare yourself physically and mentally[expecially spiritual] to get married...
on the other hand, bagi parent yg bertanya lak,
hg x leh salahkan mereka...biasalah tue,
every parent want the best for their children...of course, they want the best life partner for their child so that their children will live happily[eventhough some of them don't know money isn't everything]
p.s:ini hanya pandangan ak, jgn marah membabi buta, k...nanti bertambah lak dosa krg....
iblis - omg you made sense! haha. and you're funny, too. yeah i'll ask them when are they gonna die the next time they ask me about my kawen day. hehe. or i'll simply say pergilah tanya tuhan. that's pretty cool too. XD
muhammad farid - sunnah or not, i don't think it's necessary to ask the same person the same question many times. and it's just weird that when they already know it's all written, they still worry, or are being nosy, or are being annoying. if they sort of fear my having feelings for the same sex, the question shouldn't be 'bila nak kawen?', so it's really all over the place, their intentions, fears and how they tackle the non-existing problem.
but i agree that people are to be ready before they commit themselves to marriage. it's not something you just jump into.
and i don't understand the rest of your comment starting from 'On the other hand..', sorry. DX
i'm not angry, mr farid. i don't see why i should.
thanks for commenting! =)
this is weird (literally), i agree what "iblis" said. indeed i said it myself many times!!
kalo ajal tu kerja Tuhan, jodoh pertemuan jugak kerja Tuhan!
bukan bermaksud saya tak pursue sesiapa, juga tak bermaksud saya tak peduli tentang bila nak kahwin.
it just, in between looking like perempuan tergila-gila nak kawen sampai tak boleh buat kerja lain (desperate, kalo tak kawen tak leh hidup) dan sanggup jahanam kan hidup org supaya dapat kahwin, hingga menjadi perempuan yang determine tak nak berkahwin, there is a room of moderation where i can have life, i.e blogging, socializing and at the same time, working and studying.
when the time comes and i deserve to have a men to share my life with, then the time comes.
the same logic holds about death, when the times comes, and its my turn to die, i die.
when i said that, they just pray that i won't kahwin lari or something along the line, they didn't ask all sort of those thing anymore.
but some people actually do ask those sort of question as pembuka bicara, such as, ko bila nak kahwin? and ended up, aku nak bagitahu yang xxyyzz nak kawen dgn aabbcc.. some sort of that..
the second phrases, it comes when they judge us first, ala-ala sindirin gitu, hardly hear it as an advice.
the third one, i am not sure where the wisdom comes from. maybe from fairy tale or observer who didn't dip their feet in the water.
didn't blame them for having such thoughts, its contagious. we somehow still stuck around society who think "perempuan, selagi itak kahwin, tak laku" dan "perempuan tak pernah kahwin tu terlalu mahal (pemilih) atau murah (pelacur)".
our country reading rate are not that high, thus, this kinda question will be there for quit a long time. stay strong!
saya suka gambar tu, dan saya suka gaun tu. saya suka Jovian Mandagie, dia punya wedding dress is amazingly gorgeous.
cafiena - that's a crazy long comment, mate! haha.
well anyway yeah, one of my frens once told me that, too. that kawen is like mati, in a way that we don't wait for it to happen..we prepare ourselves for it instead. so yeah, jodoh smpai nnt kawenlah. what's the fuss kan?
and i kind of agree to your hypothesis..that because we are not reading enough is why we always have the same annoying questions to ask. the minds are boxed, and it's a frighteningly small box, too. i'm stronger now. haha. in fact i'm planning a dozen of ways to make fun of the next person who asks me this!
i'll start with asking them when are they gonna die. XD
"Marriage isn't about tolerating. It's about accepting. It's about loving all of his imperfections because no matter how bad others might see him, he completes you!"
love this quote! thanks!!!
cik aida - you are welcome. =)
thank god for that promo by anwar on you on his fb!!! leads me here...fantastic...and particularly like this entry...heheheh... "i loike" ala2 fb...
maszuzu - hi there. thanks for dropping by. =) thanks for liking it. hope you had a nice stay. do come again!
hai..hehe nk komen, ad bnykny note ;P
owhhh haiiii..*ala2 p.ramlee dlm ali baba bjg lapok*
sy bru 22tahun..cousin2 sy sume da kawin. tggl sy je cousin y agk berusia...jd, soklan y sy sering dpt lately ni ;
"kau bila pulak nk kawin ?!"
eh ?! ak bru 22 kot ! agak2 la wehhh...!-jwb sy......dlm hati T.T
hai cikgu nani =)
well, this is the best entry yg pernah i baca rasanya.even though im still young,but still,i like it so much.
tahniah utk cikgu,menegakkan hak untuk diri sendiri,sebab tak ramai orang yang mampu cakap mcm ni.sokong cikgu!
*wink2*
OMG, it is crazy long *jaw drop*
i notice it is long, now i know it is CRAZY long XD
glad to know there are more people encounter the same misery everywhere..
nani : hot..hot..
my mum stop asking bila nak kawen sejak I ugut tak nak blk rumah. hahah. berdosa!. ampun mum!
btw, bila orang cakap, kau memilih sangat, saya akan jadi naik darah. hello....takkan nak kawen pun nak pakai tangkap muat? takkan nak kawen ngn sesaper jer yg jmp kat tepi jln?
dan ya, saya tak jumpa lelaki yang berkenan di hati. dah memang takder jodoh.dah belum masanya.
tapi sejak2 makin tua ni malas nak amik pot sangat dgn apa orang cakap. sukahati oulls la...
im happy just the way i am.
jumpa you kat fb anwar.. anyway,nani you bile nak kahwin??
LOL. sratch that.. kidding.
yes, i'm totally agree with you. i hate it when my married friend like 2 3 years ago asked me, kau bile plak? bile nak rasa nasi minyak kau? mentang2 lah die dah kawin kan. and bile dah kawin 2 3 tahun ni dok unhappy update kat wall, takde rezeki (baby) lagi.. & next month, it's my time.. my own wedding..
see? aku tak terlambat ponnnnn... jgn2 aku yg dpt dulu baby dari bini kau... ameen...
hahaha.. gelak jahat
LIKE. Enough said :).
cik yuki - penatlah nak jawab soalan-soalan yang tak mencabar minda ni. lain kali cakap mcm tu.
muhammad bobo - thanks for liking the entry. it's selfish and crappy, but thanks. really. haha. and thanks for the support, too!
cafiena - i don't understand your comment...at all. DX
dulu aku nora - dasat gila you ugut taknak balik tu! haha. betul tu. like i said, nak hidup same smpai mati takkan main cekup je sape2 asalkan kawen? jodoh tu janji Allah. biarlah Dia tunaikan bila masa yang Dia tahu terbaik untuk kita. pft. some people kan, benda mcm tu pun tak boleh fikir.
nsa - congrats on your coming wedding! all the best in everything, mate. =) haha. silap2 kembar terus. lagi best!
fz - thanks. =)
what i mean is, when i complain about this, people say i am over-reacting. since i am an adult and single, it is not something i should be bother by, when being ask such question.
to be honest, i am bother by it, because when people frequently ask about it, it irritates me, and piss me of, sometime.
when i read your blog, actually i see more people face the same thing. that this is actually not over reacting, this is the reaction that we give when people ask such question.
and i am not over-reacting or emo as they call it this day.
now i just wrote another long comment again -__-"
oh. ok. i think i understand. i just didnt get the miserable part. because im not miserable in any way. thanks for explaining, pal. =)
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Only a Sith deals in absolutes. Your thoughts?